Four weeks ago Ed and I found out we had Covid 19. We were two weeks into it on a beautiful, clear, crisp fall morning when I found myself looking upward towards heaven and some things came into very clear focus – the biggest thing being God’s continued grace, mercy and presence in our lives. Dread and fear of Covid 19 has surrounded my life the last two years. Surprisingly, however, I was not shocked by the diagnosis! The Lord has walked me through each valley to the other side the last two years. He has sustained, comforted, and strengthened me each moment of each day.
As my body ached like I had never experienced, I realized it was but a sliver of what Jesus experienced on the cross for me. Oh, how I desired for it to pass. Marking and counting the days that God allowed me to awake and rise, I thanked Him. God was at work in my heart and life just as He had always been for 69 years. The process was and is still hard. Side effects still raise their ugly head, and struggles happen each day. At the beginning of the Covid 19 pandemic two years ago, I wrote a note that has been on my refrigerator: “We are not stubborn, are we?” And right below that I also wrote these words, “Covid 19 has turned active seniors into elderly people overnight and made us feel expendable!” That stubbornness often gave into fear, anger, frustration and even despair. God had to walk me back to first base many a time and even to the dugout! To overcome is to prevail, overpower, or to overwhelm a problem or difficulty. I could not do that on my own with Covid! After all, I had no control over the vicious virus, its origins, or its impact on men’s lives, including my own. Maybe that is what has made it so difficult to deal with the last two years. We had no control! God was going to teach me in a new way His presence was all I needed. Acknowledging my total dependence on the Holy Spirit was exactly where my Savior wanted me, no matter how uncomfortable it was going to be. Here is what God was teaching me: “I need not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday. A thousand may fall at my side, ten thousand at my right hand, but You will keep destruction from coming near me.” (Psalm 91:47) “You, Lord God, are with me, You are mighty to save. You will take great delight in Me, You will quiet (Kathy) with Your love, You will rejoice over me with singing.” (Zeph. 3:17) God’s mercy, grace, and healing hand were seeing us through each day, not next week, or next year, but each day. Satan’s attacks of aloneness and discouragement were relentless! You will never guess, however, where I found strength to fight the relentless battles. It was not from a standing position but from a lying down position! Flat on my back, curled up in my bed. Resting to receive! Oh, what a concept, fighting one’s battles on one’s back! Resting to receive is a hard concept for me. Resting is not a word I exercise very well in my life, but God decided I needed some schooling in regards to the matter. There was a question asked in my devotional this morning that really struck me: “Are you resisting rest because you’re resisting being in control?” Wow! John Piper wrote, “Sleep and rest are a daily reminder from God that we are not God.” Rest is something we have to receive. Jesus said: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weariness. Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weakness, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9) One of my favorite authors, Ruth Chou Simons, wrote, “God assures His people, promising, ‘I am with you.’ God doesn’t promise victory on our terms, safety according to my ideas of comfort, or a timeline that always makes sense, but the Lord is faithful to tell us that He is near, ever-present, and that He will carry us through the wilderness of our lives. The way might not be easy, sensible, or of low risk, but His presence is all we need!” “Forever, always, the Spirit, sent by the Father, one with Christ, is with us continually. Our fears will forever and always find their remedy in His presence and rest. We need not fear when he is near.” “The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?” (Psalm 56:3-4) “For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:38-39) “My soul finds rest in God, my hope comes from Him.” (Psalm 62:5) Augustine of Hippo put it this way: “Thou hast made us for Thyself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it finds its rest in Thee.” “Dear God, Thank You, Father God, for Covid. Thank You for what You are teaching me through it. Thank You for never leaving me! Thank You for true, powerful, sustaining rest which comes from Your Spirit directly into my life! Thank You for Your never-ending mercy, grace and love. I love You so very much.” Lovingly, your daughter, Kathy Covid can never change who God is or what He can do in our lives if we are resting in Him. Thank you for all your prayers! God heard and is answering!
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AuthorKathy Niswender is the wife of our pastor. Archives
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